You can and will survive.

If your loss is recent, we welcome you with sadness and extend our sympathy.  It is our hope that you will find comfort and support here on this site.  Bereavement after the suicide of a loved one is often more complicated, intense and prolonged than it is with a death from natural causes.  Please feel free to reach out.  We are here to help.  

It is common for a wave of powerful emotions to wash over you when you first learn of a loved one's death by suicide. The immediate emotional response often includes confusion, shock, anger, fear, despair, grief and guilt. These emotions may be accompanied by many physical reactions including shaking, crying, screaming, and physical exhaustion or collapse. On the other hand, you may be so stunned and numb that you cannot react. You may experience intense reactions that resemble post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), either immediately or in the weeks or months afterward. These can include nightmares and flashbacks — especially if you witnessed the suicide or found your loved one. You may choose to isolate yourself and avoid people and places that remind you of the death. You may picture your loved one's last moments over and over as you search for answers. It can take weeks or months for the intensity of these emotions and behavioral reactions to subside. And they may linger at low levels for years. If you try to ignore your feelings or deny yourself the opportunity to mourn, you may not improve, and other problems can develop. Survivors of suicide are more likely to develop depression, and families that don't find healthy ways to cope can be torn apart by unresolved issues.  Most survivors benefit from professional counseling. Support groups also help facilitate healing.

Immediately following a suicide ...  "Survivors are not in control of their pain.  They are tossed about like a boat on a stormy sea.  They are at the mercy of the pain that ensues and engulfs them." -- Fr Charles Rubey Ultimately, each survivor must endure and come to terms with the nightmare of pain which follows a suicide.  You did not invite it and you did not expect it, but you must endure it.  Eventually, you will heal.  You will never be the same, but you will heal and learn and grow.  You can survive and even go beyond surviving someday.