Advice: Here are some suggestions which resonate with us.
The Roman philosopher Cicero once said: "Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself."
Certainly, in the area of grief, each survivor must ultimately determine what feels right and what is most healing. The survivor community has come to understand that each person's grief journey is unique and thus we usually share our experiences rather than give advice. Sometimes, though, suggestions can be useful. Keep what works and discard the rest.
Iris Bolton: Surviving and Beyond / 25 Tips for Survivors
"1. Know you can survive. You may not think so, but you can. 2. Struggle with “why” it happened until you no longer need to know "why” or until you are satisfied with partial answers. 3. Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings but all your feelings are normal." Read more
Adina Wroblenski: Letter to Survivors "My
daughter, Lynn, killed herself in 1979. I have been where you are now;
I know how badly it hurts. I know that you feel the most terrible
aloneness of your life. It is normal for you to feel desperately
unhappy, angry, guilty frightened, and out of control. You wouldn’t
feel so awful if you hadn't loved so much." Read more
Carl Jung: Letter to a Grieving Friend
"I am sorry you are so miserable. 'Depression' means literally 'being forced downward.' This can happen even when you don’t consciously have any feeling at all of being 'on top.' So I wouldn’t dismiss this hypothesis out of hand … I would seek out one or two people who seemed amiable and would make myself useful to them … I would raise animals and plants and find joy in their thriving. I would surround myself with beauty --- no matter how primitive and artless --- objects, colors, sounds. I would eat and drink well." Read more
Suicide Survivor's Rights"1. to mourn in his or her own way and within the time it takes. 2. to know the truth about the suicide, to see the body of the deceased, and to organize the funeral with respect to one's own ideas and rituals. 3. to consider suicide as the result of several interrelated causes that produced unbearable for the deceased." Read more