Grief Styles

Each person reacts to suicide in their own way.  And as individuals, we react in different ways at different times.

There is no "normal" way to grieve and no timetable for grief. If someone isn't showing their feelings, it does not mean they aren't grieving or feel less pain.  It means they are who they are and are doing it their way. It is as if a grenade exploded in the middle of your family.  Each person is wounded, and each is doing their best to heal in their own way.

There are many ways in which grief is experienced. 

Sometimes it comes in waves.  When we lose someone we love, it is not uncommon to experience waves of sadness, helplessness and anger.  At time, grief washes over us with no warning.  This is nothing to be ashamed of.  You may be surprised at the compassion of those around you. 

Sometimes feelings get "turned off." With great emotional pain, sometimes the only way to protect ourselves is to go numb. In psychological terms, this numbness is called shock.  Initially, it serves to protect a survivor's emotional health.

Sometimes denial sets in.  It seems impossible to believe our loved one has died, or that he or she has died by suicide.  As time passes, survivors are able to accept the reality of the loss.





Sometimes we turn despair and anger into action.  Some survivors find it hard to express their feelings and choose to keep busy with hard work.  For instance, some get involved in social causes to create something positive from the death.

Sometimes grief manifests itself physically.  When grief is suppressed, it can turn into physical symptoms like headaches.  Symptoms should be checked by a doctor.